Massage for Abuse/Trauma Survivors

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Comment by Dustin Fox on November 23, 2009 at 4:59pm

I wish you all a very safe and enjoyable Thanksgiving Holiday!

Comment by Dustin Fox on November 21, 2009 at 7:38pm

Sorry to have been missing for a few weeks. Just got a different PC and had to rejoin everything. Don, your previous posting was very OK....

Comment by Don Solomon on October 25, 2009 at 12:08am

Oh my goodness, I hope my previous posting did not give pause to people about to post.. I thought people should know that what we share on theses groups is open to the owner of the network to do what they will with for as long at they like..
Bye for now
Don

Comment by Don Solomon on October 18, 2009 at 3:45pm

I just had a quick read of the 'Terms of service' For this networking site and thought that people should be aware of the rights we are granting this social networking site. Amongs other things they are: You hereby grant Ning, during the course of your usage of the Ning Platform, a nonexclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, sublicenseable and transferable right and license to (i) use, reproduce, create derivative works of, distribute, publicly perform and publicly display Your Content (a) for the sole purpose of operating and making Your Content available on the Ning Platform and in all current and future media in which the Ning Platform may now or hereafter be distributed or transmitted or (b) for our internal business purposes; and (ii) disclose metrics regarding Your Content on an aggregated basis for advertising, marketing and business development purposes. If you wish to grant Users or the general public additional licenses to Your Content, please include the license terms with Your Content. Without limiting the foregoing, Ning reserves the right to retain copies of Content for archival purposes after termination of the Agreement.

Don't put anything on this site you would not have on a post card
Don Solomon, RMT (Vancouver, B.C., Canada)

Comment by Don Solomon on October 18, 2009 at 3:16pm

Thanks for the link Christopher (or do you use Chris?)
Cheers!
Don

Comment by Christopher A. Moyer on October 18, 2009 at 10:51am

Hi Jennifer.

I agree that it is permissible to ask people for their source when they produce a statistic or fact.

Having said that, I think some people are having difficulty with your tone - or more correctly, what they perceive your tone to be. It seems people perceive it to be condescending and impolite.

This may be partly a function of writing on a forum, rather than talking in real time. There is some evidence that people have difficulty understanding the intended tone of a message when it is in a format such as email, as opposed to talking in person or on the phone. See:

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2006/02/70179

for a summary of the research on this that was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Here is an interesting experiment folks reading this thread might like to try - read some of the posts out loud with a defensive, challenging tone. Then go back and read them again - the same messages - with a softer, curious, more empathic tone.

The same words seem really different, don't they?

Ask yourself - which tone did the original writer intend? How did you determine that, and how can you be sure?

-CM

Comment by Eeris Kallil CMT on October 17, 2009 at 10:26am

Dustin, I am glad you are here on this site and seems like I can learn a great deal from your experience, and will look forward to your input in the future! :)

Comment by Jennifer L. Hensley on October 17, 2009 at 8:45am

How is it abuse to challenge?

challenge: noun: questioning a statement and demanding an explanation; verb: issue a challenge to

It doesn't have a "bite." It has a demand for the truth. I'd say I'm sorry that I think my peers should be truthful and not give statistics that come directly from their asses, but I'm not. I think we should hold each other to standards.

And no, I'm not doing anything wrong here. That is also bullshit.

Comment by Antonia Nelson on October 16, 2009 at 11:55pm

Its fine to ask someone for their statistics, if they don't give them, well they don't give them, challenging someone and asking for something in my book are two different things, one has a bite, the other one is asking for some clarity. There are many ways to abuse, and no, I'm not kidding.

Comment by Jennifer L. Hensley on October 16, 2009 at 10:38pm

Abuse? Are you kidding me? There is no abuse going on here. I challenged someone who had a bullshit statistic. For some reason that's okay with you that happened; it's not okay I challenged it. What gives?

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