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Beginner's Mind

A couple of months ago my Aikido Sensei gave a lecture on Beginner’s Mind. He had his own story to tell, and that’s always nice to see him share with us. It almost makes him mortal ;)

His story struck a chord with me; it stuck with me long enough so that I could create my own story, or tale of woe. ;) Here’s my two cents worth:

There is a wonderful little book that I really like, called “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” written by Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, who was the founder and teacher of the San Francisco Zen Center.

In this book he mentions the following three levels of beginner’s mind: first there is beginner’s mind, then there is no beginner’s mind and then there is once again beginner’s mind.

I remember when I first became a massage therapist and I thought there just couldn’t be a better thing to do with my life. I attended an excellent school and I got to come in and hear all this wisdom and practice and learn these wonderful techniques and learn about the human anatomy…it just seemed wonderful.

But then, after a couple of years, once I got out of school and on my own, I’d attend Massage Continuing Education courses and I began to notice that the instructors and fellow massage therapists repeated themselves over and over and over again, and very soon I felt that I had heard and knew it all.

Because of this constant repetition I began to become very familiar with the instructors, the material and the teaching. In fact, I could repeat many courses verbatim, I knew them so well.

As a result, massage therapy and the teachings kind of lost its luster, and with that luster went my beginner’s mind.

To my own detriment, I had become an expert. I was freely offering advice to other students, and I knew all about the certified instructors and the courses they taught.

“Don’t ask them; ask me, because I can tell you about their material or teaching better than they can.”

Of course this is very arrogant, but the really disappointing part about this is that it is also very dull. There is no life in being an expert, since it is all old information.

There is nothing more boring to the expert (and to those unfortunate enough to be around) than being an expert. There is no quicker way to take the fun out of life than to get good at interpreting it, because nothing new comes along.

Whereas, the fact is that every moment is completely new. Original. No moment has ever been repeated since the beginning of time, if there were such a thing. This is why I call it “Original Mind.”

So this acquiring of expertise dropped me exactly in the middle of the second state, no beginner’s mind.

What I’m beginning to understand is that beginner’s mind is not what the student who first comes through the classroom door possesses, but something that develops after many years of learning and practicing massage (or whatever it is you do). Direct experience of life is hidden by the very enthusiasm and excitement that the beginner has towards all s/he feels s/he is going to gain.

I might not realize that I am in that condition at the time, but as I grow and develop I begin to see how valueless, how ‘tasting like cardboard’, any kind of expertise really is.

At some point a new level of appreciation began to emerge. I began to suspect that just experiencing what ever it is that comes along may be enough. And guess what? That happens to be the teaching! And then once I begin to truly value and practice that condition, that openness, that not-knowingness, then it’s much easier just to accept that. I can basically abide in not knowing. And it’s fine.

Nobody’s home and that’s fine.

What a relief. I don't have to be anybody. I don’t have to be an expert. I don’t have to know, because I see that I can’t know. I can just be right here. I learn that the practice is simply to experience this moment freshly and fully.

I'd be curious if anyone else has experienced this?? If so, what was your realization?

Kris

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Comment by Jean Ann Scholefield on July 11, 2010 at 10:21am: Hi Kris,

I found it interesting that you posed this question because in my current (and temporary) profession as Truckdriver this is exactly what we are all warned about. specifically said, 'once you think you know all there is to driving a big rig (usually around 3rd year), that is when you will have your first accident! And guess what? Yes, you're right, it turned out to be true! i actually ran down a stop sign! it was right in front of me... how, still i wonder, did i manage not to see it? still driving now, another 4 years or so, Every Single Day, i tell myself, i am Not an Expert! I haven't had any other incidents since. Soon i will be Finally opening my Spa and doing healing as is my true calling. thank you for this advice to remember... Would hate to 'crash' myself or my client by not being aware!

Comment by ReyLain Bloxham on June 7, 2010 at 6:38am: Kris, I have only just begun so I am at the stage where all is new and exciting. but I have had people tell me that I will get bored doing the same thing over and over again. at this point I don't see how that is possible and I really like your insight into keeping this experience fresh. I want to be "right here" and always be the student. May I always be this naive and abel to be taught. Thank you, ReyLain

Comment by Las Vegas Massage In Summerlin on June 4, 2010 at 7:39pm: ~

Thanks Allan, Ty, for the comments ;)

Don, what a great opportunity that found you!

I've had discussions about massage therapy and Kiatsu, a form of energy channel pressure we use in Ki-Aikido, with Sensei.

Here's another bit of wisdom he passed along to me for my massage therapy practice:

Concerning massage, just like most anything else, there is a body action of some kind. Of course that has to be. I must raise my arms and place my hands on my client to practice massage. But what is my body action an expression of? That's the question.

Is it an expression of my own small mind, trying to do something? Or is it an expression of the deeper sense of unity? Is it creating goodness out of badness, when someone is ill, or in a weakened condition, or injured? Do I think there is something wrong and I need to fix it??

This is seeing only the relative world. This is seeing only chaos, when in fact there is perfect order. If I don't see the order, then the order does not influence the other person. The client cannot see the order, balance, harmonious universe, because of the temporary condition. If I don't see perfection, then the client also doesn't see that. When a client feels pain, there is attachment to that area of the mind/body. So one might think that, if you are attached, in some sense your mind is strong there. But it is just very suck there. Attachment is weakness. If my mind is strong, it is free and not stuck. Mind is weak there in that sore place, so if I touch there with a free mind, then I can release this attachment.

So, the nature of what transpires between us, the quality or flavor of what transpires between us carries the quality, flavor, or taste of the source of that. If it comes from my small mind, then it carries that flavor; that characteristic. It is not that it is nothing, in this case, but it's limited. It's not limitless. It's not infinite. It's finite.

So, what is the point of all that? It is very important for me to begin to truly understand how it is that energy pervades everything. It is everything there is. So if I think, "I am going to move energy from me to you", this is limited thinking and a bit of a mistake. Because how can that happen? It's already there.

Kris

Comment by Allan J Jones on June 4, 2010 at 5:35pm: You can be nothing till you lose yourself ...
Great Kris :)

Comment by Don Dillon, RMT on June 4, 2010 at 9:59am: Kelly this is a great post. You've articulated my position as well - a renewed interest in health science and even new branches into bio-regulatory medicine and psychotherapy...what was closed is now open again.

I too considered myself a master, until recently when I completely ignored the full impact of a bicycle accident and had to put my sefl in the hands of a master. I have this article intended for publication, but I'll share it here in support of your story. BTW I miss Aikido...my teacher moved away many years ago and the next local dojo is over an hour away. I hope to study it again. Thanks Kelly for your great inspiration today.

In the Hands of a Master

Last Summer I experienced a bad bike accident which left my left elbow and wrist unusable for a period of time. I also suffered injury to my right pelvis, left shin, right elbow and various other scratches I accumulated on my "descent". However, given my vocation, my primary goal was to rehab my arm as quickly as possible and get back to work. Day by challenging day I got better, and returned to work an impressive six weeks later. However, a left hip joint pain developed within a few months of the accident and progressed to the point of limping and pain in changing position.

After an unsuccessful attempt to get an orthopedic to have a thorough look, I was encouraged by a lawyer I consulted to see a physiatrist in the area. I had heard stories of this physiatrist from mutual patients over the years. Often, the remarks were of how unusual his approach was. I needed some medical record of the progression of my problem, so I asked a walk-in clinic physician for a referral.

Although I was somewhat familiar with this physiatrist - the fact he was born with cerebral palsy and had the familiar scissor-gait, his non-conventional case history and methods - I was not entirely prepared and absolutely delighted to meet him. He had a long white beard, with his head of hair just as long, and with curious, piercing eyes with a wonderful twinkle. He had studied with a number of notable osteopathic physicians over the years, and was critical of conventional approaches and insurance company tactics.

After carefully lowering himself into the waiting room chair while supporting himself on the walls of his office, he nonchalantly asked me what was wrong. To build rapport, I had stated we had mutual patients that spoke well of him. As a prominent therapist, I was sure he had heard my name...he responded that he hadn't. Further, he criticized my knowledge of anatomy when I described what I thought was the location of my pain...so far so good!

Then, this 72 year old physician with an obvious disability went to work on me. Incredibly strong, he asked me if I knew the range of motion of any joint in the body (in case my ego was still resisting) and proceeded to show and tell me my ankle and hip motion was that of a 70 year old (I'm 44). He twisted and stretched me, used contract relax techniques, and with a soothing tone and child-like curiosity described how my pelvis was misaligned and that he could fix me. And he did...within a week I was 40 - 50% better.

My second visit showed my excellent progress, and he released me to see a massage therapist for a few visits before coming back and telling him what I'd learned. This sage physiatrist was eager to learn more, and humbled himself to suggest that if I had been treated by his teachers, I would have been 90% better.

After some reflection, I recognized that I had a mystical experience. Here I stumbled across this wise old practitioner that many have thought odd because of his unconventional approach and his physical disability. Yet I saw only brilliance, curiosity, and inherent qualities that I wish to emulate as I enter another two, three or more decades in my vocation. Empathizing with what must be painful ambulation for him - every step a chore - yet his compassion, his brilliance shone through.

I also reflected on my oblivion to my own physical problem. How could I have been so focused on my arm to forget my badly injured pelvis, resulting in a throbbing, painful hip? I would have immediately caught this anomaly on one of my patients, yet missed it in myself. "Physician Heal Thyself" requires an acute awareness of one's own prejudices, strengths and blind spots. I missed this one big time. I am reminded that I am a bodyworker as much for my own healing as for those I provide care for everyday.

At 19 years of practice my desire for learning is renewed, and I plan to seek out
further masters who are willing to teach me. I wish to encourage the reader to look beyond their present circumstances and limited view of this vast profession and read the classics.

Read Deanne Juhan, Moshe Feldenkrais, FM Alexander, Leon Chaitow, Jean Pierre Barral/Allain Croibier, Paul St. John, Tom Myers, Kendell, Travell and Simons, and any of the greats who have something to pass on. Our experience is richer for our elders; for our wise people. Seek them out and take it in. Hopefully you won't need a bike accident to see the light.